Sunday, October 5, 2014

Day 5 - Words

This has been a post that has been on my mind for a long time.  Writing things that might offend people or hurt their feelings is not something that is easy to do….but it is important to write about them because when people say them to US or about our AUBREY, they are offensive and hurtful.  And so often it is done without thinking.  I know I have said things that are hurtful, and now…..I try to do better and think about what I’m about to say before I do.  And I hope that people call me out when I do.

Babies are born all around me, all the time.  I love to hear about pregnancies and genders and births.  There is nothing so sweet as a new soulJ  I’ve done it 5x and there is just nothing else like it here on earth.

This is my little bundle of Aubrey that was born full term at 4lbs 13oz.  She had an AV Canal heart defect and Down syndrome…..and we loved her. 
I hear people say so often, “We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, just so long as it’s healthy.”  I’m fairly certain that I said that phrase for almost 4 full pregnancies too, but now I know.  But here’s the thing:  you don’t really mean that.  Sure, you don’t care, boy or girl.  But I’m fairly certain, that healthy or unhealthy, you will love that little one, no matter what.  Right? 

We didn’t love Aubrey any less because she was another girl or because she wasn’t born healthy.  We probably loved her more than our other newborns, who were born healthy, because she needed that extra love to grow and live, while she waited for heart surgery.

My point is, you don’t care about the gender…..and leave it at that.  What you mean to say is, “We don’t care if it is a boy or girl.  We just can’t wait to meet OUR baby.”  Right?  And there is nothing wrong with PRAYING for a healthy baby, but I'm pretty sure, you'll love that little soul, no matter what.  I prayed that Emelia (my 5th baby) would be healthy, because no one wants their newborn to struggle for health, but I was prepared to do it all over again.

I’ve never corrected anyone that I hear say this.  Maybe I should.  I know people say it without thinking or because they haven’t experienced what we have or know someone who has.  But it still makes my heart ache a little when I hear it.  And I think of the friends who are so desperately WAITING to be mothers and haven’t been blessed….because they don’t care boy or girl, healthy or unhealthy.  They just want a baby to call their own.

So next time you find yourself BLESSED with a new life, just take a minute to think about all the love that you will pour into that new life, boy or girl, healthy or unhealthy and be sensitive to your audience.  You just never know....

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