There are many times when I sit and think, "Why us"?
Not in the "whoa is me", "throw me a pity party", "how can this be happening to our family", kind of way.
But rather, "How did we get so lucky, to be blessed with such a wonderful daughter"? "Those other people are missing out!" And how do we share HER, with them!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," Jeremiah 29:11
I wonder what God's plan is for our girl and what his plan is for our family. What blessings are going to come our way because of her? How can we use Down syndrome to our benefit and share that benefit with other? What does her future look like?
Don't get me wrong....there are days that are difficult, but there are days when my "typical" children give me a run for my money too! And it's true, that she has many more days that look like this:
And this:
than most kids. But there are plenty of kiddos out there with 46 chromosomes that spend far more time in hospitals and sick than our girl. There are plenty of kids with 46 chromosomes that have delays and hearing impairments. But in the end, that little extra chromosome doesn't mean much.
From the start, we have just loved her as AUBREY. Because THAT is who she is. Down syndrome is a label, like her blood type. It isn't WHO she is. Do we deny that label? No, but we don't dwell on it either. We don't use it as an excuse, or as a crutch.
We expect a lot from our girls and she is no different. She is four. She is a big sister and those things come with a lot of expectations and a lot of responsibility. We treat her "typical" and make adjustments as necessary.
I don't know what her future holds. I don't know whether she will learn to drive, or go to college or live on her own or get married. Truth is, I don't know that my other children will do those things either.
What I do know is that her family, her friends, will support her and push her and accept her to be the best Aubrey that she can be. And in the end, as long as she is happy, that is all that matters.
I want that for all my girls. I want them to be the best Alice, and Katherine, and Ella, and Emelia, that they can be. And I want them to be happy. It doesn't matter where they live or what job they have, as long as they have a passion for life and what they do....I'll be happy:)
I recently read "Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected--A Memoir" by Kelle Hampton, and I was so uncomfortable with this mom's "the world is ending" attitude at the birth of her DS daughter. I can't imagine that I would feel the way she describes if I were in her shoes, and I assume that's because you are the model I have observed.
ReplyDeleteHere's the review I put on Goodreads: "I had a really hard time relating to this author. She's an extrovert and highly emotional. I was actually uncomfortable reading about how devastated she was to have a daughter born with DS. I can't say for sure how I would react, but I'm pretty confident it wouldn't be this way, for this long. And I can't imagine my friend, R_, who does have a daughter with DS reacting this way either."